A Little Refresher: Don’t Rape

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Since we don’t all seem to be clear on this, let me make this easy for you:
If you want to have sex with someone, make sure they are CONSENTING to it. It’s actually really easy.

Signs of consent:
1. Are they awake?
2. Are they NOT wasted?
3. Are they NOT drugged?
4. Are they using affirmative words?
5. Is the physical action mutual?

If the answer to any of these questions is NO, you do NOT have consent.

IF SOMEONE YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH IS ASLEEP, OR DRUGGED, OR WASTED, OR SILENT, OR UNMOVING, OR PUSHING YOU AWAY, OR USING NEGATIVE WORDS, IF YOU PROCEED, YOU ARE COMMITTING RAPE.

Agreeing to wear a condom during sex, and then not wearing a condom, is a clear violation of consent. VIOLATION OF CONSENT = SEXUAL ASSAULT. This goes for any form of birth control or STI prevention.

Just FYI, in case you think consent and rape don’t touch on your life, think again. Do you personally know 4 or more people? Then you know someone who has been raped or who has committed rape.

1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes.

It is estimated that about 1 in 13 men has committed rape. 98%-99% of all rapists are men. 1%-2% of rapists are women.

Reference.

UPDATE 11/22/11: I was curious why scores of people were landing on this post from Reddit. Come to find out, some “men’s rights” dude was offended by my stance against rape and posted it in a misogynist forum to be mocked! (Unfamiliar with “Men’s Rights Activists” (MRAs)? Learn more here.) Yes, it takes a special kind to take a stand for rape, and they are very, very vocal about it. If anything I do attracts their negative attention, I know I am on to something.

PS. There was a question about what “negative words” might mean. In this context, some examples are: “No”, “Not now”, “I’m not interested”, “Stop”, “That hurts”, “I don’t want to”, “I’m uncomfortable”, “I’m too drunk”, “I’m not sure about this”, “I want to leave”, as well as making excuses to stop or leave the situation, etc.

6 thoughts on “A Little Refresher: Don’t Rape

  1. Though the above comment breaks my comments policy, I published it for the sake of hilarity, and also as a reminder of what anti-violence activists are up against.

  2. “Yes, it takes a special kind to take a stand for rape, and they are very, very vocal about it.”

    Hahahaha. MRAs stand for *men*, but I can tell you can’t see the difference.

  3. Thank you for this post! It is a good reminder, especially considering those who actively work to promote rape culture.

    You know you are doing something right when MRAs are upset.

  4. There is a huge number of men in my life, and none of them thinks the Men’s Rights Movement stands for them.

    MRAs only come out when I post anything that suggests rape is bad, and people shouldn’t do it. Otherwise, they ignore my blog. Hence, repeatedly, my experience with MRAs is that they spend most of their time supporting rape.

  5. “MRAs only come out when I post anything that suggests rape is bad”
    “spend most of their time supporting rape”
    You are implying that MRAs think that rape is a good thing and support it. This is manipulative language and demonstrably false. Men’s rights activists seek equal treatment for both genders, but explaining this to you is a waste of time as it is clear your view is fixed. I would love for you to prove me wrong.

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