Daryl MetcalfeRepublican Pennsylvania State Representative Daryl Metcalfe lives a nightmarish life.

Every which way he turns, gheyz are lurking in the shadows, looking foist their agenda on an unsuspecting public.

OttoFortunately, the PA public has Rep. Metcalfe there to defend them. The battle is tough, for the gheyz are tricky. But he expertly sniffed them out behind a seemingly uncontroversial, non-partisan resolution to designate October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The Western Pennsylvania legislator said he detected that agenda in this phrase: “one in six women and one in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.”

Oh yes. Rep. Metcalfe is good. Very good. How did he know that we homosexuals were promoting our agenda under the cover of domestic violence awareness?

“It had language woven through it that brought men into the situation,” said Metcalfe, who voted for similar resolutions in the last two years. “I don’t support the resolution or funding for groups that go beyond helping women.”

And any men who are survivors of DV must be gay (because a woman could never beat up a man!), and by offering even the intangible support of a resolution, if a gay person is in any way helped, the GHeyZ have won! Oh that Metcalfe, he can see right through our nefarious machinations.  Drat!

“His comments show incredible insensitivity about what domestic violence is, combined with bigotry against lesbians, gays, bisexual, and transgendered people,” said Michael Morrill, executive director of Keystone Progress, an advocacy group in Harrisburg.

…Victims’ advocacy groups say men are victims of domestic violence in both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. There were 835,000 reported cases of male victims of domestic violence in the nation last year, according to the resolution.

Ah. Isn’t homophobia hilarious?  And male DV victims totally not worth helping, because they might be ghey?

You get 10 respect points if you can name the movie that gay zombie hiding behind lilacs is from.

Pennsylvania-Style Misogyny

Hey, haven’t had enough woman-hating in your day?  How about a little tried-and-true misogyny, NEPA (Northeastern Pennsylvania) style, thoughtfully published in a major (relatively-speaking) Wilkes-Barre, PA newspaper called the Times Leader:

James HolevaThink of the cash your parents are laying down for your “education” as an unlimited account to the Bunny Ranch. If you have trouble charming chicks, that means it’s time for a little sorostitution. You won’t have to worry about c–k blocking yourself with meaningless chit-chat in the presence of sorority girls. They’re usually too wasted to require any sort of legitimate connection.

…All sororities invite a few less attractive girls to pledge in order to make the hotties feel better about themselves. The Ugly Sister will be available and vulnerable.

Written by someone named James Holeva. AH! His name is uncomfortably similar to mine. If you, ahem, enjoyed his article, he invites you to contact him at his facebook page.  If Facebook is accurate, you can see him depicted on the right.

I’m kind of in shock that a legitimate newspaper published that bullshit.  Not okay.  If you want to contact the Times Leader, you can do so here.

Homophobes Just Want to Tell You Lovingly That You Are Going to Hell.

Gay people, why don’t you realize we love you? Haven’t we explained like a MILLION times that just because we hate everything about you and everything you do, Jesus forces us to claim that we love you?

Sally KernGawd, you are so sensitive. You don’t understand biblical principles at all. “The Biblical worldview teaches that all are created equal and worthy of respect but it also teaches that some behaviors, such as homosexuality, are wrong because they violate God’s moral law.” (OK State Rep, Sally Kern)

This message can come across garbled by the liberal media sometimes, I mean, even the President doesn’t get it. “For the first time in America’s history, we have a president who has no understanding of the Biblical worldview and who has even less understanding of the truths of the Bible. This is evident when he says that support for homosexual “marriage” [unions] can be found in the Sermon on the Mount or that certain passages in Romans are just obscure passages. Whereas George Washington expelled from his military those who practiced sodomy, President Obama honors sodomites by proclaiming an entire month as Gay Pride Month…” (Kern)

Don’t get so upset gays! “Sodomites” isn’t a homophobic slur, it’s simply the loving, biblical term for your disgusting sickness.

John Eichelberger Oh, and here’s a kind message of tolerance from PA Senator John Eichelberger, who heroically choked down vomit as he said it: “We’re allowing [gays] to exist, and do what every American can do. We’re just not rewarding them with any special designation. ”

How sweet! Now why are you people who claim to seek this tolerence we so openly give you so mean and vicious towards us normal, natural and God-blessed folks?

To read Sally Kern’s Oklahoma Citizen’s Proclamation for Morality, in which she lovingly and respectfully compares same sex relationships to human trafficking and child abuse, read further.

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Private For-Profit Prisons Are the Best

In one of the most shocking cases of courtroom graft on record, two Pennsylvania judges have been charged with taking millions of dollars in kickbacks to send teenagers to two privately run youth detention centers.

“I’ve never encountered, and I don’t think that we will in our lifetimes, a case where literally thousands of kids’ lives were just tossed aside in order for a couple of judges to make some money,” said Marsha Levick, an attorney with the Philadelphia-based Juvenile Law Center, which is representing hundreds of youths sentenced in Wilkes-Barre.

Prosecutors say Luzerne County Judges Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan took $2.6 million in payoffs to put juvenile offenders in lockups run by PA Child Care LLC and a sister company, Western PA Child Care LLC.

Before the judges could get rich off of ruining children’s lives, they had to shut down the government-run detention facility first.

In Luzerne County, prosecutors say, Conahan shut down the county-run juvenile prison in 2002 and helped the two companies secure rich contracts worth tens of millions of dollars, at least some of that dependent on how many juveniles were locked up.

Niiiiiiiice. From the AP. Who could have foreseen that running a prison for profit could lead to ethical problems?