Lance Kinzer Has the Gay Agenda All Figured Out

Ok, here’s how it works. This is logic, Kansas-style.

The gheyz, you see, want to pass a hate-crime law that defines homophobic crimes as hate crimes. But everyone knows that gheyz ought to get beat, so that doesn’t make any sense.

What could they possibly be up to?

Well, they have a master plan.

First, they pass a bill to give themselves special rights, like the right not to get beat up. Look it up, that ain’t in the Constitution.

Then, after conditioning people to accept not beating gheyz as part of a “normal” lifestyle, they pounce on a lulled and unsuspecting citizenry and force marriage equality on God-fearing Christians and restrict the personal freedoms of straight people everywhere by being equal to them.

It looks kind of like this:

1 (Can’t beat gays no more)
+2 (???)
= 3 (Gays get married/Christians have no rights)

If that’s still confusing for you, please refer to the sage words of Kansas State Rep Lance Kinzer: “I could see a court using this as background for a type of argument advancing same-sex marriage.”

Hmmm, point 2 is still a tad unclear, but what IS clear is that gheyz are nefarious, dastardly, out to get your children, and not to be trusted. That they hate America almost goes without saying, but I will allow for the possibility that Mary Cheney loves her country. So we can chalk 2 up to fairy nancy rainbow trickery, knowledge of which probably leads to involuntary gayness alone. Speak Of the Gheyness, And Gheyness Shall Appear.

The ever-entertaining Kansas Liberty website has more.

Gays are “Sexual Jihadists”

Musician and television personality Pat Boone asks us: “Have you not seen the awful similarity between what happened in Mumbai and what’s happening right now in our cities?”

He sees the similarity. “What troubles me so deeply, and should trouble all thinking Americans, is that there is a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai and the hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists.”

You may be asking yourself, what the fuck you talking about, Pat? “I refer to California’s Proposition 8.”

Um, could Pat possibly mean the people who voted to deny equal rights to gays? ‘Cause those people are totally mean-spirited. “Oh, I know the homosexual “rights” demonstrations haven’t reached the same level of violence, but I’m referring to the anger, the vehemence, the total disregard for law and order and the supposed rights of their fellow citizens.”

Oh, he means the people whose civil rights got taken away are the ones who are like the Mumbai attackers. Wow, isn’t this taking advantage of a huge tragedy to propel a weird anti-gay agenda? “Hate is hate, no matter where it erupts. And by its very nature, if it’s not held in check, it will escalate into acts vile, violent and destructive.”

Is that a threat, Pat? “In America, at least the America we’ve known till now, rights are earned and won in a deliberative, legal way – at the polls. ”

Oh, so the voters get to decide who gets to have rights and who doesn’t. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound right! “Every homosexual citizen has the same, identical rights as any other American.”

Um, like the right to marry the person you love? Because… gays still don’t have that right, Pat. “Slavery was abolished, blacks and women obtained the rights to vote, and these true rights were not obtained by threats and violent demonstrations and civil disruption (though these things did occur, of course), but by due process, congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification”

And a Civil War, but no biggie.

OH. …Is Pat worried gays are going to start a Gay Civil War? “Are you unaware of the raging demonstrations in our streets, in front of our churches and synagogues, even spilling into these places of worship, and many of these riots turning defamatory and violent?”

Ah ha. He believes they already have. I am shocked at the media cover-up that has prevented dispatches from the Gay Civil War from reaching the news stands. Liberal media, you’ve really done it now!

America: Watch out. Sexual jihadists are right now attending terrorist training camps hosted by the Mumbia attackers in order to start the Gay Civil War!

Pat Boone’s article was posted on WordNetDaily, a website I do not link to. Via Pharyngula.