Gender-tastic!

Meeting a beautiful woman can be bad for your health, scientists have found.

IT’S SCIENCE!(tm)

Oh yeah? Whose health? All people? Bad for other beautiful women? Bad for whom?

Oh, right. Bad for men. Who are the only ones who read the news, and therefore addressing all news readers as though they are men is totally appropriate. Also, these male readers must all be straight, since it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch to assume gay men may not have the same feelings about women as straight men.

But remember people, IT’S SCIENCE!

Is it the existence of an attractive woman that is bad for men’s health, or is it society’s and men’s unhealthy attitudes about women that trigger men’s supposedly negative health reactions?

Obviously, this is something that women are deliberately doing to men, to harm them. We women are deliberately attractive to men as a gigantic plot to destroy them. The University of Valencia in Spain, where this study was conducted, has finally outed our massive, world-encompassing secret! Women are nefarious by nature and can never be trusted.

Bonus info: Apparently in Germany, this news was an even bigger hit, and the headlines are even worse. For example:

Schöne Frauen sind schlecht fürs Herz (Beautiful Women Are Bad for Your Heart)

Nachrichten : Schaden Schöne Frauen Der Gesundheit? (Do Beautiful Women Harm Your Health?)

Schöne Frau, gestresster Mann (Beautiful Woman, Stressed Out Man)


Schöne Frauen stressen
(Beautiful Women Are Stressful)

Science to Eliminate Lesbians

I knew this was going to happen, it was just a matter of time. Well, the time is now. Lesbians will soon be made extinct, IT’S SCIENCE!

Pediatric endocrinologist Maria New—of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Florida International University—isn’t just trying to prevent lesbianism by treating pregnant women with an experimental hormone. She’s also trying to prevent the births of girls who display an “abnormal” disinterest in babies, don’t want to play with girls’ toys or become mothers, and whose “career preferences” are deemed too “masculine.”

If only Dr. New had been around 29 years ago to prevent me!

Science Sez: 100% of Rape Accusations Made By Women Are False

Trigger alert.

Did you know that 100% of rape accusations made by women are false? Fact. Researchers working at the nonpartisan Women Always Lie Institute (WALI) came up with this percentage by taking the number of rape allegations made by U.S. women in 2007 and applying the well-established “Women Are Never to Be Trusted” principle to the data. Though many groups dispute the percentage of rape allegations that are false, the percentage determined by this study can be trusted because no women were allowed on the research team.

Rape is not common. In fact, it is so uncommon as to pretty much not exist. If rape happened as often as women’s advocates and feminists suggested (1 in 6 American women) it would be a cause of national concern! People would be rioting in the streets! That would mean that 17.7 million American women have been raped. Clearly, that can’t be possible, because something would be done about it if these numbers were true.

Fortunately, they aren’t. Unbiased WALI social scientists have thoroughly debunked all instances of rape allegations. Advocates and feminists claim that 73% of the “victims” know their assailants. We can safely discount this 73% of rapes, as research indicates they stem from vengeful feminazis who come to regret their sexual choices the day after. In order to maintain clear consciences and clear reputations, all they have to do is scream “rape” and violá, suddenly scores of innocent men are trooped off to jail in shackles while the scheming woman runs free without a blemish on her record. So right off the bat, science discredits almost three quarters of “rapes”.

The existence of the remaining 27% of rapes hinges in society’s belief in the “man hiding in the bushes” myth. Tireless women’s-rights advocate Phyllis Schlafly dispels this notion handily: “Virtuous women are seldom accosted,” she says. “Men hardly ever ask sexual favors of women from whom the certain answer is no.” So from this statement we can surmise that supposedly “virtuous” women who claim to be “raped” by strangers most likely in some way provoked and desired the encounter. Again, research by WALI supports this debunking. WALI researchers conducted a phone survey of a random, nation-wide sample of 100 adult American males personally known to them. Not a single one reported an instance in which he had hidden in bushes and jumped out to sexually assault a woman.

Many readers of this article may be shocked at the alarming frequency with which women lie about rape (17% of women have told this lie). Perhaps you, like myself and many others, are wondering if you can do something about this lie epidemic, which tragically tarnishes the romantic lives and reputations of so many upstanding men. Fortunately, there is a movement which is struggling against the mighty foe of scurrilous women’s special interest groups. This movement is called the Men’s Rights Movement. To learn more about their courageous work against women who claim to be raped, just visit this website: http://www.freewebs.com/AntiFeminist.

Together, we can stop lying, scheming misandrist women.

© Havlová 5/14/08